Kill La Verser
by devileva123
Summary: When a being of epic bullshittery enters the world of epic bullshittery that is Kill La Kill, the epic bullshittery levels become over 9000. Watch as he rips Kill La Kill a new one. WARNING: OP self insert story made for fun. Flames will be ignored.


_A/N Hello everyone, this time I am in Kill La Kill. Why? Because I wanted to see what would happen if I threw myself into the mix and I wanted to go into at least one anime that's nothing but epic bullshittery. Please go read my other story Highschool DXD Multiverse Hero and my upcoming stories Multiverse 00 a Gundam 00 story and Multiverser at IS Academy a Infinite Stratos story. Also read the stories of VindictiveDunc and ShepardisaBOSS. They are the oldest Multiversers I know._

_I like to experience a world before the main story starts. So here I grew up as the son of some random big company CEO and became the childhood friend of Satsuki to learn about Life Fibers and get into the position I want. So now let's get started._

"" = talking

''= thought

**Chapter 1 VP meets Transfer Student**

I was staring out the window of my personal office at Honnouji Academy. Looking at the wasteland we call a courtyard gets boring from time to time but someone needs to watch over the school. I am wearing a Four Star Goku Uniform. It a white long coat with two stars on the chest and one on each shoulder. I'm also wearing matching slacks with combat boots.

Then I spotted Gamagori jumping out a window.

"Time for work." I said as I left my office.

When I get to the courtyard Gamagori and the disciplinary committee had surrounded a no-star student.

"What's happened Gamagori?" I asked the giant. Even with my six-foot-four height Gamagori makes me look small.

"Sir! A no-star has stolen a Goku Uniform and we believe he is a spy as well." Gamagori replies with a tone of respect in his voice.

"I see. Let me talk to him first." I said as I walk up to the no-star.

"Yes, Sir!" Was Gamagori's response.

"I can't believe I'm seeing the Student Council Vice-President up close." Said a one-star student.

"Yeah. Me neither. The man with the only Four Star Uniform, Ken Kiryuin. Madam Satsuki's fiancée." Said another one-star.

'Stop reminding me I need to punch Ragyo for that.' I wounded up impressing Ragyo a little too much, so she adopted me to groom me into a suitable man for Satsuki. I think Satsuki is very beautiful but I don't like forced relationships like that. Me and Satsuki have been good friends since elementary school and we do go on dates from time to time. But let's save the rest for later.

I am now standing in front of the no-star.

"If you tell me why you took the uniform I can make your punishment as light as possible." I said to the no-star, trying to save his ass.

"Shut it, you Kiryuin dog!" The no-star said as he put on the one-star uniform he stole.

"(sigh) I tried to help you but oh well. Gamagori!" I said as I walked back to the school building.

"Yes, Sir!" Gamagori said as he took over.

The no-star tried to fight back but a one-star uniform can't compete with a three-star. So the no-star got his ass royally kicked by Gamagori and his whips.

After school the six members of the Student Council met in the meeting room. Gamagori and Saru (_A/N this is what I will be calling Sanageyama by._) sitting on a large sofa. Nonon, Nono-chan by me, sitting in a chair made of stuff animals. Inumuta is working at his desk. I'm sitting on my personal recliner as Satsuki is sitting on a fancy chair.

"Report." Was all Satsuki said.

"A no-star tried to steal a Goku uniform but we were able to retrieve it." Gamagori responded.

"He was a spy from one of our enemies in the Kanto region." Inumuta said as he typed away on his computer.

"And his punishment?" Satsuki asked.

"Gamagori has him hanging as a reminder at the gate entrance." I said as I looked through some transfer papers for a certain scissor wielding tomboy.

"What are you looking at Ken-sama?" Saru asked me.

"Just some transfer papers for a student coming to this school tomorrow. Her name sounded familiar so I'm checking something."

"What's her name?"

"I'll tell you after I confirmed who it is." I said as I put the papers away.

It was the next day and I was watching the gate from the main entrance to see Ryuko when she shows up. Students were whispering as they pasted me. They were saying stuff like someone is going to get punished or something.

Then the star of the show appeared. When she got to the main entrance I stood in front of her.

"Can I help you?" Ryuko asked with an annoyed tone.

"Is that a way to say hi to a friend you haven't seen in what? Twelve years now." I said with a smirk.

"I don't know who you are but if you get in my way I'll kick your ass." Ryuko said as she move her hand to the case holding her scissor blade.

"That's being a bit mean Ryu-chan." I said as I put on some geeky glasses and messed with my hair so it fell downward.

"K-kun! Is that you?" Ryuko asked in shock with a look of disbelief on her face.

"Yeah it's me." I said as I fixed my look.

My "father' ran a transporting company that Revocs used. While traveling with him one time we met Dr. Matoi and Ryuko. We played while our dad's drank. And damn was she adorable when she was a little girl. She had all these cute reactions for everything.

"How have you been?" Ryuko said as her look softened.

"Good but I heard the bad news." I said with a sad tone as I put my hand on her shoulder.

But before Ryuko could say anything a one-star interrupted.

"Ken-sama. Sir Iori needs to talk to you." I said with a monotone like voice.

"Sorry Ryu-chan. I have work to do." I said before leaving.

When I got to where Iori is in the sewing club room. I got the tailor's attention.

"What is it Iori? I was talking to an old friend."

"Sorry sir but I need you to look at the new Two-Star Tennis Goku Uniform design before we get started on it." The mad scientist looking sewing club captain said as he handed me some papers.

"You don't need to do this every time a new two-star is being made." I said as I looked at the papers.

"But sir. You are the best Life Fiber expert I have seen." Iori stated as I signed off on the new uniform.

"I maybe an expert at Life Fibers but that was from curiosity not because of my position. Only come to me if you need my help." I said as I handed Iori back the papers.

"I understand sir." Iori said with a bow.

"Stand up Iori. I didn't mean anything by it. I rather you need me as a friend than as a superior." I said with a smile.

"Thank you, sir." Iori said energetically before I left.

I headed for the student council room to kill time. The only ones there are Satsuki and her butler.

"How are you my dear?" I asked as I sat in my recliner and propped my feet up.

"Quite well. I have heard that you were talking with the transfer student." Satsuki said as she took some tea from her butler.

"She's an old friend of mine that I have known just as long as I have known you." I said as I pulled out my tablet.

"I see. Just watch out for rumors spreading." Satsuki said as she drank her tea.

"As you wish my dear." I said as I worked on one of my side projects.

After school Satsuki decided to go for a walk. Being her man, I was her escort as I walked behind her. Gamagori, being who he is, acted as a bodyguard and walked in front of us. As we walked through the halls the students moved out of the way and bowed in respect.

I was smiling when we got to the courtyard. As the students made a path for us, Ryuko made her move.

"I hear you are the queen be at this school. If you are I have a question for you." Ryuko asked as she stepped in front of us.

Some student rushed her but got knocked around.

"Ryuko, how was your first day?" I asked as she noticed I was standing behind Satsuki.

"K-kun?! What are you doing next to her?" Ryuko asked in anger.

"If we weren't interrupted I would have told you I am the student council VP here. I'm also engaged to her." I said as I pointed to Satsuki. I kept calm during the talk.

"Engaged! Why are you engaged to her?" Ryuko had a look of disbelief and anger on her face as she pulled out her scissor blade.

The students were shocked at the sight of the weapon.

"I wounded up impressing Ragyo-sama a bit and she made me Satsuki's fiancée. But let me guess. You are here because of that blade in your hand?" I had a serious look on my face as I said the last part.

"How do you know that?" Ryuko asked with a serious look on her face.

"I know that the person with the other half of that weapon killed your dad."

"Where is the other half?!" Ryuko yelled.

Before I said anything, Satsuki interrupted.

"What's your name?"

"Ryuko Matoi and you will tell me who has the other half of this scissor!" Ryuko said as she charged Satsuki.

But before she could reach us, Ryuko took a giant glove to the face. This sent her flying into a group of students as the attacker landed in front of us.

"No one attacks Satsuki-sama and Ken-sama while I, Takaharu Fukuroda, captain of the boxing club am here." Said a short man in boxing gear. His right glove is as big as his body and he as two stars on his headgear.

"I could have handled it Fukuroda." I said with an annoyed tone.

"I am sorry Ken-sama but I did not want our king and queen to dirty their hands. I will gladly step aside sir." Fukuroda said as he bowed to us.

"Continue Fukuroda." Satsuki said in a monotone voice.

"Thank you Satsuki-sama." Fukuroda said as Ryuko busted through some students.

It began to rain as Ryuko's fight with the boxing club captain ensues like it did in the anime.

Fukuroda slams Ryuko into the ground after the beating he dealt.

"You do not know how to wield your weapon. Fukuroda, confiscate her scissor." Satsuki said as she headed back to the school building.

"You'll never take this from me." Ryuko said with a weak voice.

As Ryuko finds out she can't win, she steals a ramen delivery bike and runs away.

I make an invisible clone of myself fallow her as she heads to her destination.

After that little spat the Elite Four, Satsuki, and I were in the student council room. Saru keeps breaking practice swords on Fukuroda as a means of punishing him.

"Sanagayama, a mistake made by a club member of a club you run is your mistake as well!" Gamagori yelled in annoyance to Saru.

"I know! Do you think I'm braking sword here for fun. Besides the Disciplinary Committee should have stepped in when she attacked Satsuki-sama and Ken-sama." Saru said as he sat down after breaking another sword.

"Ken-sama's old friend seems to have started fights in school related to Honnouji Academy. They were personal fights, that's why we never heard of them until now." Inumuta said as he looked at the files on his computer.

"Inform our branches to look out for her." Satsuki ordered.

"Right away mam." Inumuta said with a bow.

"The Gama, the Saru, and the Inu all screwed up. If our Ouji stepped in none of this would have happened." Nono-chan said as an insult.

"Nono-chan, it's not nice to insult your coworkers after they made a mistake." I said to defend the three male members of the Elite four.

"I was just playing with them Ken-sama. By the way. Satsuki-sama, you wanted the transfer student's weapon confiscated. Is it that important?" Nono-chan asked with a curious tone.

"It's an anti-goku uniform weapon." Satsuki said in her normal tone.

"How does she have a weapon like that?" Gamagori asked with a hint of worry in his voice.

"Her father made it to fight Honnouji Academy." I said after I let out a big sigh.

"Ken, what was her name again?" Satsuki asked before sipping from a glass of tae her butler gave her.

"Ryuko Matoi." I said with a smile.

"Matoi huh." Satsuki said as a small smile that only I can see formed on her face.

Now to my clone.

I was watching as Ryuko stumbled into the burnt remains of her house.

As she leaned on her weapon I saw Mr. Flashlight Nipples press a button to have Ryuko fall down into a trapdoor.

I fallow her by becoming intangible and going through the floor.

There I witnessed the awakening of Senketsu. This caused my goku uniform to twitch.

'One down one to go.' I said with a smile before heading off to my next stop by flying at top speed with wings that looked like they were made from the night sky with golden stars and a red aura around them.

Back to the main me.

As I watched Fukuroda, who was in a boxing ring with Saru standing next to him, using the dumbest threat I have ever seen in an anime and while using Mako as a hostage from my office, a voice came from my tablet that was on my desk.

"**It's about to start isn't it sir**." Said a robotic voice.

"Yes it is, OX." I said as I picked up the tablet. On it was a digital smiley face.

"**I see. Then should I get right on to those designs then?**" OX asked.

"Yeah. It's better to be safe than sorry." I said as I looked back outside.

"**As you wish sir.**" OX said before the screen began to flash with four different designs.

Just as I refocused my attention Ryuko had just saved Mako while covering herself with a trench coat.

Their fight began with the ring of the bell. Fukuroda fired left jabs all over the ring that kept on hitting Ryuko and bouncing around the ring. Then he delivers a corkscrew that destroys the trench coat, thus revealing Senketsu.

Everyone was shocked by the skimpy look while I got a small nosebleed.

After Ryuko and Fukuroda minced words about clothing or some bull shit, Fukuroda removed the cover on his right glove to reveal a metal glove and tried to punch Ryuko with it, only for his glove to shatter.

All the important people began to realize what Ryuko is wearing as Fukuroda began to fight back to no avail.

Ryuko began to beat the shit out of Fukuroda before destroying his Uniform.

I was already gone from my office as everyone important commented about the fight.

Ryuko launched the now naked Fukuroda at Satsuki who was watching from her perch. A wall of one-stars stopped Fukuroda, the Elite Four stopped most of the blood the splattered from impact, and I stopped the last little bit from hitting Satsuki with my hand.

"Transfer student, where did you get those clothes?" Satsuki asked with her voice being heard by everyone.

"I got it from my father who was killed by the owner of this scissor blade! And you will tell me who has it!" Ryuko yelled as she pointed her weapon at Satsuki.

Let's see what my clone is up to.

I was walking down a flight of stairs until I came to a large reinforced steel door guarded by some men.

"Ken-sama, what are you doing here?" One of the men asked with a look of shock from the fact that I am here.

"I came to get Junketsu for Satsuki. Now get out of my way." I ordered.

"Sorry sir. But you know we can't do that."

I knock the guards out before opening the doors. I walk into the room Junketsu is in and removed said item from its containment before teleporting away.

_A/N: Well here was the first chapter of Kill La Verser. Sorry for the lack of details on the fights. It was a combination of staying up late to work on this and the fact my character was not directly involved with the fights. I went with VP because one didn't show up in the series. Please review. Flames will be ignored._


End file.
